His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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