i always forget guys have bellybuttons
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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