Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
