I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
