Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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