The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize