i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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