We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I want her autograph on my taint
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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