I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
