currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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