i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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