He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
