If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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