Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
