Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
