I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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