fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
