ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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