I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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