Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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