He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
pop tarts are not kleenex
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
