so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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