you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
