You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize