when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Sober January is a disaster.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
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Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
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On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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