Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(951): View more from California

I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?

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(862): View more from New Jersey

She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.

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(805): View more from California

omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now

(1-805): View more from California

he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls

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(402): View more from Nebraska

You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

I like it rough

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Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(607): View more from New York

you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?

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(941): View more from Florida

He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times

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(+61): View more from Australia

I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up

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