I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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