did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS