I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up