Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?