i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she told me i tasted like america
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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