And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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