Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
