just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
