How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
