i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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