direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
