scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
