If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.