Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.