yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
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In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
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He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?