Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
