So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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