you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
