I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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