So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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