summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
