That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
