I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
