The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
