it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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