I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
