puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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