There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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