she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
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I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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