So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
