I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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