"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
