why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
