Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
