i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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