You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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