just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
