Is it because I queefed?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
