they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize