Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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