so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
