Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i love accidental penises.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My dick has a subreddit
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
