Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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